If you’re an Enneagram type 6, you might find that your life revolves around being security-oriented. If you are always thinking about how to protect yourself and others, this could make you feel very anxious.
The good news is that you don’t have to be a slave of your fears anymore. By taking small steps towards trusting yourself more, you will find that you have much less anxiety in your life.
It’s important not only when making decisions but also in everyday interactions with others.
In this article, we will unpack the enneagram type 6 and learn more about what it means to be a “security-oriented” personality, and how you can deal with your anxieties and play to your strengths.
Brief Overview the Enneagram Type 6
Other names: The Committed, Security-Oriented Type: Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious.
Strengths
Since the Enneagram type 6 focuses on safety and security, they will be very careful to do things right. This can be a great asset since it means they are thorough when completing projects, studying for exams, or learning new skills which can help them be more successful in life.
Something else that comes easy to the Enneagram type 6 is setting boundaries with others because they try to protect themselves.
The Enneagram type 6 is also committed and responsible because it wants to make sure everything is perfect before moving forward with any new idea, project, or relationship.
Sometimes the Enneagram type 6 can be so focused on doing things right, that if something doesn’t work out the way they imagined, it can cause them to feel depressed.
But the Enneagram type 6 can also be a very hard worker who doesn’t shy away from tough situations and takes on responsibility even when they don’t have to.
Weaknesses
The enneagram type 6 is so focused on doing things right that sometimes they become too controlling and pushy with others when attempting to get their way.
This can cause people around the Enneagram type 6 to start resenting them if they aren’t careful because it begins to feel like someone else is always telling them what they should do.
Another problem that the Enneagram type 6 will face is that since they are always thinking about how safe or secure something is, sometimes this makes them seem controlling or uninterested in what you are saying.
The Enneagram type 6 is also very prone to anxiety because they are so focused on protecting themselves that they sometimes don’t allow themselves to experience joy in life.
This makes it hard for the Enneagram type 6 to relax and enjoy their time off, which can lead to feelings of guilt.
The person who has the enneagram type 6 personality will spend so much time overplanning before making a decision that they could miss out on great opportunities.
Fear
The biggest fear of the enneagram personality type 6 personality is that they will fail to protect themselves and end up alone. They try so hard to make sure everything is safe, secure, and perfect in their lives but this can sometimes be detrimental since it makes them push people away before they get hurt.
The enneagram-type-6 personality fears failure more than anything and this can cause them to become anxious about starting new projects, business ventures, or even relationships. They will only decide once they have had time to research and plan which makes them appear indecisive at times.
Desires and Needs
The enneagram-type-6 personality type has a strong desire to be safe and secure in all of their relationships. They will do whatever it takes to protect themselves from getting hurt again.
But ironically, the enneagram-type-6 personality fears being alone which can lead to obsessive behavior and extreme control issues. The enneagram-type-6 personality wants to be so in control of their lives that they push people away from them before anyone gets a chance to hurt them.
They want everything to be perfect but this causes uncertainty because it makes things feel like no one is ever good enough or safe enough for the enneagram-type-6 personality.
Core Motivation
The enneagram-type-6 personality is motivated by the desire to provide a stable environment for their loved ones. They strive for security in everything they do and will work tirelessly to achieve this because they don’t want anything bad to happen in their lives ever again.
This makes it easy for Enneagram 6 to put others’ needs before theirs which can make them more agreeable at times, especially when dealing with difficult people or situations.
The enneagram type 6 personality wants everyone around them to be happy so that they aren’t left feeling alone again.
The Enneagram type 6 wants to be needed by others so that they never have to feel alone ever again. They constantly need validation from those closest to themselves because this makes them feel safe and secure in their relationships.
Speaking Style
The enneagram 6 has a sincere and thoughtful speaking style. They enjoy talking about their feelings and viewpoints which makes them very insightful when they are in conversation with others.
But at times, the Enneagram-type-6 can become fixated on certain issues that other people don’t see as relevant to the situation so they need to be open-minded before revealing everything they want to say.
Wings for the Enneagram Six
sixEnneagram Wings describe the traits that are amplified by one enneagram point, and therefore they’re somewhere between the two enneagram types.
The following are the enneagram type 6 wings:
Wing 5 (6w5)
Wing 5 (6w5) also called “The Guardian“: is more creative than other types. They don’t like to be boxed into a certain way of thinking about things so they can solve problems in new and different ways when everyone else has already been searching for an answer in the same place for years.
Wing 7 (6w7)
Wing 7 (6w7) Also called “The Confidant“: is idealistic. They want to make the world a better place and have big dreams for the future which challenges their ability to focus on smaller tasks that are much more immediate.
Key Characteristics of Enneagram Six Personality Type
Principled
This means that when a 6 feels like they’re justified in their actions, they stand by what they do. This is because the 6 wants to be dependable and “trustworthy”. It’s not easy for them to change their mind once they’ve made a decision.
They like to think through every possible scenario out there before they make any kinds of decisions that might affect others, especially loved ones. Also, they do what seems like the “right” solution.
Purposeful
This means that the 6 are always trying to improve themselves. They’re constantly analyzing their thoughts and actions, looking for ways to grow, be better people, and contribute more to their families or communities.
The purpose is usually connected to their “security”. Moreover, their purpose becomes much stronger when they feel like someone or something is counting on them.
Self-Controlled
This means that the 6 are in control of themselves and their emotions. They’re able to maintain composure when others are experiencing strong emotions.
This is because they feel like emotional and nervous outbursts can lead to unreliable behavior and “untrustworthy” actions that might cause harm to themselves and or others. Also, this characteristic makes it easier for the 6 to be “compassionate”.
Perfectionistic
The 6 want to believe that they’re perfect (even if they don’t believe they can achieve this) and because of this, they need to show others what’s “right”. This means the way they act or speak is going to be up-to-par in their mind.
If someone gives them praise for something, it might make them suspicious because they don’t think anyone can do anything perfectly all the time. This means that they’re very self-conscious.
They want to have the most perfect image possible and can feel highly insecure about flaws in their performance or appearance.
Rational
This term means that they want others to see things in a logical light. They’re going to look at every possible solution before making a decision.
The 6 is going to remain neutral when it comes to their own opinions until all other possibilities have been explored. Regardless of whether or not the situation is emotional, they’re going to remain calm and stay objective in their minds.
Core Values for the Enneagram 6
Tendency to be attracted to high-risk, high-reward “big” opportunities.
They are risk-takers in the business world who can bring tremendous success in their business dealings as long as they do not sabotage themselves with their fears of security or failure.
More likely than other types to have a large network of relationships and contacts that may at times be somewhat superficial but also useful for learning about new opportunities.
Responsibilities
Once they decide to do something, they are very committed and responsible. They won’t let anyone down when they say that they will do something because it would be like all the security in their lives is suddenly gone if someone doesn’t follow through on a commitment or responsibility.
Social Life
They are very outgoing and friendly people. They have a lot of energy, but they don’t spill out all over the place. They know how to be calm, cool, and collected. These people bring an air of fun and excitement around wherever they go because they just enjoy life so much.
Jobs and Careers Paths for the Type Six
Enneagram type 6 would be more suited as creative work because they don’t want to work in a rigid environment where too much is required.
They might not want their boss to tell them what to do all the time or they might feel stuck in a situation where it is difficult to think beyond the routine.
List of the best career paths for the enneagram type 6:
- Teacher
- Social Worker
- Psychologist
- Social Worker
- Nurse
- Doctor
- Advocate Lawyer
- Therapist
- Psychologist
- Priest
Enneagram Six Development Levels
Healthy levels
Level 1 (At Their Best): They become more self-affirming, gaining more trust in themself and others, independent yet symbiotically interdependent, and cooperative as equals. As a result, it leads to true courage, better leadership skills, more positive thinking and better self-expression.
Level 2: Able to make others feel good. They are lovable and trust is important.
Level 3: People who are dedicated to things they deeply believe in. People who work hard, and take responsibility for themselves and others. People who work hard and persevere can make their world stable and secure. They have a cooperative spirit.
Average levels
Level 4: When people get to this level, they will start investing their time and energy in things that they think will be safe and stable. They rely on alliances and authorities. They stay always vigilant and anticipate problems.
Level 5: People react against others in a passive-aggressive way when they want to resist any demands made on them.
Level 6: People with insecurities may become sarcastic and bossy. They blame others for their problems, and they take a tough stance toward other people who are not like them.
Unhealthy levels
Level 7: The person becomes upset when they think that they have done something bad.
Level 8: If people feel that other people want to hurt them or make them sad, they might do bad things. They might be mad and act in a way they don’t like.
Level 9: If someone is mad and wants to escape punishment, they might drink alcohol or take drugs. When people are in this situation, they might do bad things like hurting themselves.
Personal Growth Tips for the Enneagram Six
Don’t be negative on yourself and others
Work on being less negative about yourself and other people. This type tends to blame others for their problems more than other types do, so you will need to work on this and find out how much of your negativity is based on reality or just in your mind.
Recommendation: You can examine why it might be that you don’t feel like you get enough appreciation from the people around you. Work on getting more involved with things that are fun for you as well as helping others, rather than feeling like all of your work should always get some sort of recognition – even if it’s not financial.
Stay on track and don’t lose focus
Do not be too attached to your past or future success, but push yourself in the direction you want to go. You are only locked into your present moment and all there is now, so stop looking back.
Recommendation: You will need to work hard on accepting that there isn’t always going to be someone else out there for you as a parent or guardian; sometimes you need to take care of yourself because no one else will do it for you (even though it may feel that way at times).
Issues with intimacy
A lot of Enneagram Sixes have issues with intimacy because of things that might have happened in their childhood, so don’t expect yourself to be too good at being close to people or opening up to them right away – unless you work on it.
Recommendation: If you feel like you are easily hurt by other people, you may need to build up your boundaries and not let other people’s words or actions affect you as much. You can do this by taking a stand for what is best for YOU even if it means standing alone with your group of friends. If that means staying home one night instead of going out drinking, then so be it.
Enneagram 6 Behaviors and Patterns
Action Patterns
Type Six tries to be in control of their environment and the people around them. They draw comfort from the familiar routines they create in their lives, and they detest conflicts of any kind.
They enjoy talking about their feelings and viewpoints which makes them very insightful when they are in conversation with others.
Feeling Patterns
They’re not concerned about becoming angry or upset around others because they know how to control themselves.
The 6 want to believe that they’re perfect, (even if they don’t believe they can achieve this) and because of this, they need to show others what’s “right”.
Thinking Patterns
Type Six are easygoing and have calm dispositions. They avoid strong emotions like anger because anger will almost always lead to conflict.
Famous Enneagram Type 6 You Might Know
- Joe Biden – American President
- Ben Affleck – American Actor
- David Letterman – Television Host
- David Sedaris – American Author
- Ellen Degeneres – American comedian and television host
- Johnny Carson – American television host
- Nora Ephron – American journalist
- Tom Hanks – American Actor
- J.R.R. Tolkien – English writer
- Princess Diana – Princess of Wales
- Pete Buttigieg – American politician
- Bear Grylls – Survival and outdoor expert
- Bono – Irish singer
- Daniel Craig – British actor
- Drew Carey – American actor
Who is Enneagram 6 Most Compatible With?
While Enneagram 6s are best paired with other security-oriented types, such as 2s and 9s, they can also have happy relationships with 3s and 7s.
How Does the Enneagram 6 Handle Stress?
When under stress, 6s tend to have greater focus and self-reliance. They also seek security and stability by working harder. They are more likely to feel anxious about financial issues during times of stress.
